Cycle Day 30 / 1
I am teetering on the edge of menstruation. Where I can feel the shift in my womb – the sense of heaviness, a slight ache.. I know my bleed is imminent. But it hasn’t quite started yet. I’ve been spotting here and there for a couple days but not yet started my full flow.
I know it’s close. I feel my body and energy drawing inwards in preparation. That deeply yin energy, the sense of just wanting to be alone, in quietness and rest. My partner is talking too much. Suddenly feeling so tired that I just needed a 30 minute nap in the middle of the day.
It’s a noticeable shift from the prior few days. I tend to close out the last days of my premenstruum with a bit of a bang. I get this little surge in energy before it’s curtains closed. And I’ve always enjoyed this boost – I like to call it my “indian summer” (if you live in UK you’ll know what I mean – it’s where you get a final few days/weeks of warmer weather during autumn before heading towards the depths of winter).
I used to try to stay in that little energy high instead of surrendering to my winter. But that often left me feeling depleted and tired come inner spring. Now I welcome my winter, my bleed – I actually look forward to entering my period cave because I know it is MY time. My time to restore and nourish my body, heart and mind. Honouring my cyclical nature, allowing my energy to ebb and flow with my inner seasons has been so healing for me. Helping me stay in touch with my body and my feminine energy. Helping me soften in a world that often incites rigidity and hardness.
Random thought earlier this morning whilst I took a walk round my local park – if knowledge is power, then self-knowledge is self-empowerment. Being in touch with my cycle and my body enhances my self-knowledge, and this becomes self-empowerment. The power to advocate for my body, my health, my boundaries, my needs, my desires and my joys. And the power to believe that I am worthy of all these things.